She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
