I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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