she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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