Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can you repeat that, but with context?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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