he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Everyone says I win the strip club
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize