oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
