The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So. Much. Porn.
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