I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
