Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
