well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
