my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
