so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We talked him into tasing himself.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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