Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is my gift to your gina
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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