The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
