my vag is so smooth its legendary
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
