Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
