Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
