'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
