NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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