I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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