so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
