Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
