I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize