im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
