It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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