after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
