Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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