She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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