McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
