he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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