You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i dont even know how to be here
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize