the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
