i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
