it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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