shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
