why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
