im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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