If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
