I CAN MOONWALK!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
