the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
