So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
