nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do herpes really smell.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
