and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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