I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize