Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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