How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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