they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize