So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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