I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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