ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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