I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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