there's paper in my vomit.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
