No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
