I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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