I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
