I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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