They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
