we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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