ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
