Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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