Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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