how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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